Personal Happiness

So this year was an insane transition into the real world.

I know we are all trying to figure out what works best for us. What we want, what we want to accomplish, who we want to be with, and most of all what we are meant to do. When I graduated, I always knew where I wanted to be and what general career path I wanted, but as a year went by, I start to wonder if I’m not accomplishing enough. I usually just like to ‘go with the flow’ of things and I never really like to compare myself to others; I usually like to stick to my own scale of happiness. Just because one person has been traveling all around and doing a ton of things, climbing up the ladder; living on the fast lane while also being able to have the time to party with friends, if that were me, would I feel happy with that? Is that the way I am supposed to live? We live in a country where it’s extremely important to live as an extreme extrovert, push your way past everyone else, and to strive to be #1. Especially in New York City, if you aren’t obnoxious and agressive, you will find yourself being stepped on.

I’ve always been a person to take things in baby steps. Growing up, I was the girl who held onto the side of the pool before I realized I was actually big enough to stand in the water. Every time I went into the pool, my family would always tell me to let go because I was able to stand on my own two feet, but I did not believe them. Finally, one day I decided to let go, and realized that nothing bad happened. I didn’t drown. I didn’t float away. I was standing in the water all by myself. And just like that, I feel like I see myself doing that very same thing that I did when I was little. Other people are usually telling me that I have the abilities to take on some huge project, or take on some big jump in my career, but I never seem to fully believe them. I just always have that voice inside me that tells me to do what feels right instead. Is it because I’m too afraid to fall flat on my face? Is it good to play it safe? I have taken risks in life, but they were all ‘educated’ risks, in which my predictions and pros/cons were all written out in my head. Sure, I take things a bit more slower than others, but I feel that success should be measured by your own personal happiness. If you don’t like something, change it. 

So maybe I’ll eventually climb my way up. Who knows. As for now I am just going to focus on my own personal happiness.